Anger Inside and Outside

Hello readers,

In the interests of keeping my site fresh with new content, I’ve decided to start blogging about the various therapy related ideas that come into my head.  These are generally just my thoughts about a particular topic, article, or book that I have read recently.

Have you ever seen that animation of the ballerina silhouette pirouetting?  Where one cannot tell if she is turning clockwise or counter clockwise?  If you observe her long enough you can actually control which direction you would like her to spin. It’s a fascinating example of how our minds can shape our perception with the prejudices we bring to them subconsciously.  Especially when one considers that one can decide whether or not to see the ballerina turning towards oneself, or away.

Anger is an emotion that works just like this animation.  One can decide if the anger is directed away from you or towards you.  For example, Bert has a habit of leaving his car lights on and one morning he attempts to start his car only to find it won’t start.  Bert initially thinks about how he only just recently had his car serviced.  He flares up in anger at the mechanic, cursing his supposed incompetence.  Then just as he was about to call the mechanic to give him a piece of his mind; Bert notices that his car lights were left on.
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Who Makes You Feel?

Inside-Out-5-Emotions2

John was running late to work because the bus had broken down. When he arrived at his office he was worried that his boss would be angry at him. He informed her about the bus, but she just frowned and said you cannot control things like that. John felt huge relief and as though his boss cared about him. Mary was trying on clothes in a store and she overheard one of the staff comment on how fat she was. She peeked out the door of the change room and saw that the staff member who had said it was a thin, tall girl, like all the girls in the store. She immediately felt self-conscious about her body and ashamed.

The two little stories above are examples of events that many people have probably experienced at some point in their lives. What I find curious is the different answers I get from people when I ask them, “Who makes John and Mary feel the different emotions they experience?”

Some people will answer that John has no control over how he feels, it is his boss who decides if he will feel relieved or frightened about losing his job based on how she reacts to him being late. In the case of Mary, she is powerless to prevent herself from feeling self-conscious and ashamed when someone calls her fat. The skinny girl makes Mary feel bad about herself.

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