2020 Empathy Vision?

It’s a new year, and with all these jokes about having 2020 vision I find myself thinking about how I would benefit from working on my own vision for 2020. Not that I need glasses, well, not yet at least, but I mean working on my mental 2020 vision, or more commonly called empathy. Empathy is a complex set of skills and abilities allowing a person to make accurate guesses about what other people know, don’t know, desire, loathe, and how they’re likely to react to specific news. Generally speaking, people are not bad at empathy, however, considering just how mentally taxing empathy can be, it is commonplace that we get things wrong when attempting to understand how other people think.

One thing I used to get wrong was that I used to assume everyone valued honesty as much I do. It seemed rather ridiculous to me that anyone would lie. Certainly, lie to teachers and bullies if you must, but why on Earth to anyone you work with, want to be friends with, or live with? I mean, it just never made good sense to me. If you want to get along with people, to live and work co-operatively together, then you should just tell the truth to each other. That way you can both plan your days, and indeed even your lives, to be as productive and stress free as possible. But as soon as someone starts lying or withholding information it becomes difficult, nigh impossible to plan even your day, much less your life with other people. With the wrong information, you will inevitably make the wrong decisions no matter how well organised you are.

But was it their failure to be honest or my failure to understand why they preferred to lie? Was I not standing in their proverbial shoes for sufficient mileage to appreciate where they were coming from?
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Anger Inside and Outside

Hello readers,

In the interests of keeping my site fresh with new content, I’ve decided to start blogging about the various therapy related ideas that come into my head.  These are generally just my thoughts about a particular topic, article, or book that I have read recently.

Have you ever seen that animation of the ballerina silhouette pirouetting?  Where one cannot tell if she is turning clockwise or counter clockwise?  If you observe her long enough you can actually control which direction you would like her to spin. It’s a fascinating example of how our minds can shape our perception with the prejudices we bring to them subconsciously.  Especially when one considers that one can decide whether or not to see the ballerina turning towards oneself, or away.

Anger is an emotion that works just like this animation.  One can decide if the anger is directed away from you or towards you.  For example, Bert has a habit of leaving his car lights on and one morning he attempts to start his car only to find it won’t start.  Bert initially thinks about how he only just recently had his car serviced.  He flares up in anger at the mechanic, cursing his supposed incompetence.  Then just as he was about to call the mechanic to give him a piece of his mind; Bert notices that his car lights were left on.
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