I Was Dumped… WIFTM

I think I did pretty well on this latest unscripted video… but afterwards I felt concerned that I hadn’t talked about how awful the advice of “block and never talk about it” actually is. This tactic of dealing with people by simply cutting them out of the picture is a signature tactic of narcissists, and it’s not how normal healthy minded people operate. Normal healthy people talk things out, they discuss, they negotiate, that seek out common ground, and they often find agreement. However, narcissists don’t do this. They shut down all communication and terminate the relationship. This is because narcissists see any form of compromise or negotiation as them losing. “To the victor goes the spoils” as the saying goes, and a narcissist won’t tolerate not getting their own way on their own terms: thus a total end of communication seems desirable to them because they think it prevents their mind from ever being changed again and this inflexibility is somehow “winning” or revealing of personal strength.

The counter point to this perspective is that when you remove yourself from the conversation you don’t empower yourself, in fact, you are putting yourself in the least powerful position possible with no ability to influence the outcome whatsoever. I might have easily concluded that my ex was just a lying cheating whore and told everyone that, simply because she didn’t advocate for herself, and the scant information she provided to me can easily be interpreted in that direction. It wouldn’t even be malicious for me to draw that conclusion from the facts on the ground, and several of my friends have already reached that conclusion about her: she was all fake and lying to me from the start. Personally, I don’t believe this because I think I know her better than that. I’m certain she isn’t a narcissist doing this to be maliciously controlling. But all the same, by not explaining herself, she lost all control over the narrative and now history will be written by someone else and her voice silenced because she didn’t speak up for herself.

Continue reading

Philosophical Therapy

What is Philosophical Therapy?

Philosophical therapy is a drug-free, talk-based therapy that is an alternative to modern psychology and psychiatry. It has its roots in Ancient Greece and Rome, with geniuses like Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Epicurus and Galen as its founders and practitioners. In fact, philosophy was the primary method for treating the conditions we now call “mental illness” for over two thousand years.

The Roman physician, Galen, believed one should always seek a philosophical solution to one’s ailment before moving onto the next level of medical treatment. He argued that there are many reasons why a patient might have a headache or insomnia. Galen may not have used the term “cognitive dissonance”, but he certainly understood that some headaches are created by inner conflicts. Likewise, he understood that a good conscience was necessary for a good night’s sleep.

Who should see a philosophical therapist?

There are a variety of problems a philosophical therapist can help you with: Lack of energy and motivation, excessive worrying, difficultly making decisions, relationship problems, settling disputes, loneliness, grief, lack of meaning and purpose in life. Unlike psychologists and psychiatrists, philosophical therapists have no interest in diagnosing you or prescribing drugs. They are just interested in helping you to explore, articulate, and understand your particular problem. If you have any problem that you can’t make sense or has been going on for a long time, then you could almost certainly benefit from discussing it with a philosophical therapist.

What to expect from philosophical therapy?

Expect to be listened to, to have your emotions explained, to be asked probing questions, to hear occasional humorous rants and to be encouraged to answer uncomfortable questions. There will be no diagnoses, no medications, no directives that you must obey. You might be asked to complete some exercises that are focused on promoting self-knowledge and better emotional awareness, but nothing compulsory. It may not seem like much, but just changing the way you think or approach a situation will impact your entire life.

Email Jason at: philosophical.therapy@outlook.com